Ofrajaws

Some substantial job offer just came in from São Paulo, my city in Brazil and I think it's about time to start packing. I'm managing to stay calm and focusing a little more on what I have to do before leave America, but I'm still not on the right track or in the right pace. Past week was just a big waste of time since I could not move myself even to get a haircut - and my hair looks like some weid bird's nest. Weather is getting warm and thats good for my humor, now I discovered a way over the road to get to a park and walk a little, clear the thoughts and breathe fresh air. I only wish it stop pouring outside. All my friends seems to

This is Carnaval in Brazil and if I was there I'd probably be in a country city being judge in some parade. I was judge once when I enrolled on an Art's Judges Association and that was a great experience. We learned everything that composes a parade, since its roots to the modern organization, how the Samba Schools work throughout the year helping people in poor communities and how they get involved on the parade. That is a magical acheivemente for most of them. Many people - including me - doesn't like the mess caused by street festives blocks and parades and much less the parties during all night long. What I like are the big and planned

Today I'm being visited by negative thoughts and undesireable feelings. My problems seems unvencible and my future a fucking mist. Once again the loneliness wants to beat me up, the feeling of impotence push me to jump from the window (what would be silly since I live on the street level). I want to stop thinking of everything that has been gone and all the mega-combos life did to me, but the consequences are torpifying. My past is part of my life, it came free with the TV-internet-phone package and I need some technical assistance to put on the Favorites menu only the memories and experiences that push me foward, that make me believe in myse